Gosh…is it killing me!! I never imagined but now I know for sure that the pain of “separation” supersedes any other form of suffering! Dammit, I can’t even pretend that all is fine with me…It is like somebody removed the soul from my body…Each time I think of you in someone else’s life, a knife goes through my heart…but I guess this is life!!

 

How selfish was I with you and how foolish was I to let go of you, so easily!! You were so devoted and committed to let me know everything which was meant for me and how rudely I behaved again and again…Your “face” used to lit up whenever you had something new to offer to me but I used to cringe invariably…Even the small sweet nothings would bring “glow” to your face but again I would pretend I was doing the most tedious of jobs in the world when giving attention to “what you had to offer”…My selfishness and rudeness did not end there even. I would “use” you when I would please to and would then rudely make you go “silent” whenever my mood swings took the better of me. Whenever I needed to go into the past and revel and how wonderful life has been to me, I would just look at your “face” and “hold you in my hands” and almost magically a trip down the memory would start and it was like I could “flip through” the events which I treasure!! It was like I had a feeling that you are in my “pocket” and with you I can do whatever I feel like. But you never ever revolted. I had to invest the least in the “relationship” and invariably you would offer me the “maximum”…Only time you would try to get my “notice” was when you didn’t feel fully charged up and maybe I was the only person on whom you could have banked but I agree, I behaved like a master and a bad cruel master at that!! I would keep on elongating that “agony period” of yours and you would keep on “reminding” that you needed my attention, my care, my love, my touch…until you could bear it no more…

 

I just now remembered that when you were not in my “pocket”, how badly I was dying to get in a “relationship” with you. I pondered days and nights before reaching to the conclusion “Yes…You are the ONE”. I don’t know why it took me so long to realize that. But maybe as I am writing, I am realizing it all!!

 

I know you would never ever read this but you know what, I have some confessions to make…First of all, the real bitter one… I used to “bitch” about you and the “time I spent with you” to my friends. I used plenty of bad words and bad mouthed you like anything!! I just did it to feel macho and just to fool myself into the thought that I AM SELF-SUFFICIENT & I NEED NO ONE to make me feel complete… How foolish was i…Now I almost kill myself each time because of the pain I suffer of that well known PRIVATE SPACE …

 

Also you would not know, my beauty, that I secretly wanted “your friend” in my life…Yes I confess I seriously entertained the thoughts of life with “her”. I was confused between “you” and 1 of your friends…I was looking for a “match” on which other people would complement me, be jealous of me and would talk of the great “catch” I had made…I was comparing the “looks” when I should have gone by the “heart”. I was so “materialistic” and selfish. I unashamedly confess that I settled for you in my life when I finally realized that the “other friend” of yours was somehow beyond my reach and no matter how hard I would try I couldn’t lay my hands on “your friend” .I can’t even look myself in the eyes for the rest of my life for this I know, but still I had to let the world know that how DOG a person I am.

 

I may say that somebody stole you from my “destiny” but I truly realize now that I never deserved to be with you for the rest of my life because I never” handled” you properly but darling now I can feel the void and realize that no matter which MOBILE SET i end up buying now, I can not ever replace my N-series N-72…My Black beauty, I miss you with all my heart but also unashamedly confess that I will try to get your “other friend” N70 in my life!!! May you be “handled” properly with that THIEF WHO STOLE MY “TALKING” BEAUTY!!!

 

With all the love,

Yours Undeserving lover….

 

 

 

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