Panic…outright panic from the time we got to know of the “news”!! The kind of news that sends shivers down the spine…The “news” was that my room mate’s wife was accompanying him and she was to stay for 7 days at our place…Yes, you read it right…S-E-V-E-N days!!! No, I am not self centered or mean kind of guy but 7 days is a loooooooooong period…

A little about the place of where I stay and how I stay so that you can sympathize with me a little more OR maybe a LOT MORE…

It’s a 3 room flat where “we” stay and “we” here, is equal to 4 Neanderthals who in habitat this place …We have 1 room at the 2nd floor at 2 rooms at 1st floor. Now something about the room…

The 1 room at the 1st floor is fully occupied by clothes, socks, containers, bottles, newspapers, slippers, shoes, “essential garments”, pamphlets, garbage, bags, water bottles, pickle bottles, perfume bottles.In fact bottle collection might seem like a hobby when you see the collection. You name it and we have it. The spider webs and dust would make you feel almost like no body lives at our place. The exhaust fan does not work, the bulb keeps getting fused every 3rd day, the fan in this room hasn’t worked since we came to live. But then actually its kind of good that the fan does not work in this room because if it did, it would have created a sort of mini sand storm owing to tonnes of dust we have so “carefoolishly” accumulated. And yes, when you enter our flat make sure that you have your helmet on because the cloth hangers are hanging low waiting to hit you – bang on the head…and, finally the clothes which are hanging on a rod which is supposed to support curtains and before you even think “no we do not entertain the idea of curtains”… In short, this room actually does what an almirah or municipality Garbage bin can only dream of…So you can well imagine what the state of the room is… God forbid if you drop something in this room and you desperately want it then the only option would be to put your scuba diving mask on and just jump in the mess and you may or may not find the thing you were searching for but I guarantee that you will get a feel of what Sand surfing is like!!!
On a serious note I fear, that if by any chance, someday a person who is even remotely interested in excavation sites and all, makes a visit to our place he might well think that the “room “ is actually a Museum and contains items belonging to Mohenjo-Daro Harappa culture !! To top it all the museum/room I described is the entry point to our flat…You have to cross this room and as you progress you might stumble upon a bucket…Yeah, you read it right B-U-C-K-E-T in the main room to enter our Wonder land(or BANDAR land whatever may appeal to you). No we do not live in the desert and we do not require large storages of water, it is just that all the buckets do not fit into the tiny match box size bathrooms…What’s the big deal!!!

Then comes the 2nd room (1st floor) of our flat. For a change the fan does work (yippee!!) but it’s eerie because when you will switch on the fan then you will get all the circulation of air you need but I bet you can not locate the fan. This magic trick of making the fan disappear is not easy and not every body has the guts to do it you know…But I will let out the secret to you my friends, I am a generous soul. So for this trick you have to just ensure continuous accumulation of dust on the fan till the weight of the accumulated dust is equal to the weight of the fan itself! Now don’t try to be extra smart and let go on with the accumulation of dust because another trick can then follow i.e. the fan”dust”ic fan might land on you because of the excess weight!! So be careful and I would suggest DO NOT TRY THIS AT YOUR HOME but at the rented flat it is appealing, I admit!!

Further, 3 living beings who closely resemble human beings (at least on office days) live at this floor…I would not bore you much with the description of us but would like to tell you that we live by the famous proverb” LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST & FILL YOUR STOMACH TO THE FULLEST” and yep we don’t give a damn whether it’s a proverb or not. And 1 thing, if you wish to educate a kid who has never been to a railway station, about what does a PLATFORM look like then do visit this room … It is a master piece and I bet the kid would have a picture etched out in his mind forever!!

The room at 2nd floor is fine and deserves no comment except for the fact the wash Basin of the top floor room can actually quite easily put the city’s most amazing library to shame!! The basin (oh yeah, of course, it doesn’t work otherwise we could have thought of employing it as aquarium) contains all the academic as well as literary stuff alike… We are literary enthusiasts you know… Books galore my friends and if you are loyal enough to this bloggie I can issue some passes to you people!!

So when we got to know that ALICE( my roomies wife) would be there to stay with us, there was panic which can be compared to panic during the war period or during an earthquake at least…Why wouldn’t there be?? We have a grand total of 8 utensils you know…3 plates, 2 bowl, 1 utensil which we suppose a bowl, 2 spoons including 1 spoon which is hell bent on showing off malleability stunts and has some how acquired a close to circular shape(No dear nobody is DAARA SINGH among us but ferocity with which we eat) Further I confess it’s also about the clothes we wear at our abode…More often than not we are 2 step away from our birthday suits…Further our body frames are pathetic…When we move its almost akin to undergarments roaming on hangers. But we don’t roam in “them” to show off…it’s just that we are NATURALS in whatever we do!!!

Anyways we mentally prepared ourselves for surviving and somehow the 1st day passed. There were a few “minor” hic ups though like me gobbling up the food and then later enquiring whether she would like to eat, serving her the same amount of food as we serve to ourselves(by the way which can be very nearly equal to amount of food consumption in the whole of Somalia or Kenya) and hastily almost “snatching” the food she had brought from her home(actually I thought that she had had brought the used plates and all and was about to go to wash them. So I tried to show my respect by snatching the plate and saying “I will take care of it” but it didn’t turn out that way) I swear, I saw horror on her face on these occasions!! But I am learning, you know. I sincerely hope that this is the end to all adventure and some sanity would return to the proceedings or else embarrassingly I will have lot much to offer in the coming days!!

1 thing for sure I have never ever been happier to come to office than I was today and I almost did a 100 meter sprint as I was leaving my “jungle” behind!!

So as you can see that our place is what Bachelor’s life is all about…Haphazard, ill- managed and care free…And I am really shivering when I think of that POOR SOUL ALICE will be part of this “jungle” for 6 more days…Long period naa…I bet this time you will agree!!!!

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