Ahaa…its that time of the year again. We take resolves which generally dissolve within a few days but not this time. Here are mine:

1) Have to have a GF :

See I am sick of being alone so my first resolve is to have to have to have to have a GF no matter how. See, I do not have any fancy ideas as to what I want from my GF. Just a few things which I would want from her :

a) She should develop severe skin rashes or puke or develop memory blackout when she thinks of SHOPPING, in other words be allergic to the concept of shopping.

b) Should not believe those once in a blue-moon rumors that her boyfriend is cheating on her. Just an additional piece of info that in my case once in a blue-moon means once in a fortnight and rumors of rumors being rumors are generally rumors!

c) She should be willing to decrypt my mood swings, must have NO mood swings of her own.

d) Should be somebody who blabbers less and listens more.

Considering my special needs and requirements Japanese Robot maker company HONDA contacted me and told me that all these qualities are present in a Male robot by default but I don’t want to be a gaybot (I don’t know what you call a person whose better half is a male robot so coined this termJ ) so when I enquired further said that whenever they try to inculcate points a and d(from the above list) in the female version of the robot, the wires fuse, diodes blow up and the female robo darling short circuits with a bang! They further informed me that they can not foresee any such technology for the next 362436 years atleast!

I wont budge though, the search is still on…

2)Clean the bed which currently serves the purpose of almirah:

A few days back I dreamt of being stuck in deep mud water with a sweetish and sticky sort of a fragrance…The smell was sooo real and familiar and on top of it a robotic creature was trying to spear in gently with something cold and blunt…Somehow I couldn’t figure it out in the dream and out of the unique frustation of being speared by a blunt something i woke up. And i got it what was it all about. The smell was of Kissan mixed fruit jam and my nose was safely perched on the cusp of the open bottle which was lying on my bed! Gingerely I scratched my back to see what was underneath my back and Voila out it came – a serving spoon! Now I understand that for the past few weeks, why I repeatedly dreamt of banana smelling as mango and mango smelling as grape. Damn that mixed fruit jam!

But yeah my room is even worse shape. In fact Delhi Association of Owners of Antique pieces and Museums are pleading to let mine room be their pride…So, as you see, its not that bad actually.

I agree that my bed is the abode of 3 jackets + 1 white shawl, 2-3 pair of Jockey, 2 mega Kaju packets which could feed a hungry mohallaa, 2 novels suffering from elephantiasis, uncountable mock papers which will make me a millionaire one fine day when I will sell all of them in raddee, 2-3 newspapers of last 2-3 days or so and 2 diaries where I write my compositions(the diaries are empty as such but the spirit to write remains) …

For a change I want to lie on the whole bed “alone” and I don’t want to wake up someday with broken ribs as the result of being buried beneath novels and notebooks, with Jockey on my head and ears, jam in my nostrils, the jackets and the white shawl perfectly serving the purpose of a coffin cloth.

3) Balancing my work and life:

For the past few years I have been employed I have noticed there is a huge imbalance between my work and my life. There is too little work I tell you and too much of life! But that is not what I am supposed to do right. So this year what I will try is to create even more imbalance by writing more an more and more till the weight shifts decidedly towards one thing;)Wish me all the luck…i wil need it for sure;)

Have a happy new year and have a blast:)

Have fun:)

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